My Angel

Four years ago from today, my nephew's heart stopped beating in the womb. Tomorrow would mark the day that Skylar came into this world..the day I was able to see him. I have been through a lot of things in my life, fortunately, I did not have a lot of experience with death. This changed my view on life, death, family and the plan God has for us.

Here is the story of Skylar Matthew...

This time period brought a lot of confusion and a lot of fear. It was a time in my life where I questioned God and HIS plan. What first started out anger, soon became acceptance. To be honest, at the time, I didn't understand that with every doctor stating this condition was not capable with life... how they could continue with the pregnancy. I knew there was so much pain associated with continuing and fully knowing there was no hope in bringing home a child. If Sky was born and lived, his life would be such a struggle... it would drastically change my brother's family. And even in that, he would not have a long life span. Then I thought about my own self, how I would handle it. As a parent, no matter what, you don't give up on your child. No matter what the hardship. There was a chance, and a chance.. is hope. I think this situation made everyone evaluate their life, their hardships, their faith. Everyone had their own journey that changed their life. I have mentioned many times that I wrote a poem for Skylar. Here is the poem:

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball,
And you come to realize that it is God’s call.
The meaning of family has a whole different light,
And your right to life becomes the fight.
Sometimes it is best to let the flow come of tears
Because though storms and rain may fall, a rainbow appears.
Rain nourishes the flowers and help them grow,
And the rainbow shows us Skylar was what God bestowed.
If making a difference is everyone’s life goal,
His story changed many by touching so many people’s soul.
Faith cannot be measured unless it is put to the test,
Little Skylar came at God’s request
Yet we wanted Skylar to live on Earth with us,
We know it’s God’s will and in Him we trust.
I knew He knew what needed to be done.
I came to realize that our little Skylar has won.
As our guardian angel, he smiles through the clouds,
At a world that he knows nothing about.
The world he knows of is eternal happiness and love,
Waiting for his family to join him up above.

This poem is exactly how I feel about the journey with Sky. It will never be understood why this happened to our family or any family for that matter... however, Skylar made a big impression without even coming into this world. I mentioned the one day about Taylor Swift, Never Grow Up, how I think about my nephews and wish they would never experience hurt, pain ,disappointments... Skylar will not. His world is everlasting love and happiness. He is safe, he is healthy...and he does live...

through ME.