Acceptance

Friday, I discussed your mindset, your direction and using your past to make steps towards your future. I am a firm believer that I am here today only because of the decisions I made yesterday. Your experiences mold you as a person; they develop motivation. The problem with control is there is a whole world around us. You can be a great defensive driver, but you have no way of defending yourself from the unknown. You have to accept that your future can not be planned, tomorrow is not promise, and you have no control of others...but at the same time accept that you choose your destiny by how you approach each hardship. You have the power to change a hardship into a motivation; opportunity.

For those of you who do not know, my family is "blended." My mother brought two kids to the marriage with my dad and my dad brought two children. Together, my parents had me and TJ... The Brady bunch scenario.  Before my parents met each other, they were both single parents, raising two children. Whether you are the spouse that was left or you decided to leave, both are difficult. Both went through a period of uncertainty; a time where they did not know the direction of their future or if there was a possibility to love again. Then, they met each other. First date, Amy falls down the stairs and had to be taken to the Emergency room. Through the craziness, two people fall in love. My mother became a wonderful parent to my dad's kids, and he became a wonderful parent to her kids. We became a family. All could not have been possible if they did not go through those hardships. I am sure at the time my parents were going through their previous divorce, they didn't think to themselves, "one day I will appreciate that this happened." Now, they will. A terrible situation led them to not only finding love, but also family. A family that isn't his and hers, its OURS. It's a beautiful thing.

A few weeks ago, I went to the doctor. I was stressed on the direction I was going career wise. I was saddened by the hardships my family was facing, and was no longer concerned about myself. I became weak. Now, with my goal for lent of working out, I started to build confidence in myself. I had lost track of where I was going and what I wanted in life.

I have been in a very dark place, many times. Do not lose hope in finding light...because there is one. You lose power and when you are tired of the darkness, you light a candle. Seize opportunity. If you lost love, find love in yourself. Fall in love with who you are and what you have to offer. When I say you have to love yourself, I say it for this reason : Loving yourself changes the way someone loves you. It is developing an "I want someone" feeling, instead of "I need someone." Find positive activities to help the love inside yourself grow. "Strengthen the weak," and you at the time of loss, are weak. You were put in this position in life for a reason, trust that the reason will bring you to finding what my parents found. A happiness, a love, and a future that is more fulfilling then the life you had in your past. I will say it again, I will say it four hundred times. You only have control of yourself. If someone leaves you, it is out of your control. What is in your control is how you move forward...It is acceptance. Acceptance that there is another plan for you. It is an opportunity, an opportunity to find someone better suited for you and your future. Confidence. When you love yourself, it shows. Believe. Look into yourself and realize that you deserve happiness. Persistence. Continue to work on the relationship you have with yourself. Listen to the song, "Wear Sunscreen." "Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself...."

Remember that.